all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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