it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
