and next time when you feel me up, do it right
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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