Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Randomize
