Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
