We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
