Banned from zoo.
Again?
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
