Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Randomize
