Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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