Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize