so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize