return my video game
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
