i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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