Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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