So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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