where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
