I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
