So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
