i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
You were trust falling into bushes
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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