All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
