Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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