I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
