Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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