there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
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