i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
