but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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