fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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