Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
