And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
