That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
