I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
