of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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