I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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