O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
