i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
