i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Randomize
