did you get engaged???
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
