As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
