But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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