Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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