If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize