I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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