i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
