I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
