i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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