You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Randomize
