a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
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