Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
