i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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