i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
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