Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
You're earring is so big in my mouth
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
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