also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Randomize
