So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize