We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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