That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Do vagina's smell?
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
She swung at the pinata with crutches
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
