Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize