Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
