I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
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