I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Alive.
So much puke
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
