suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
