I wannas sexs uuuuu
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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