I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
