Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Randomize
