how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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