I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
