You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
