I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
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