question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
