If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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