Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
In America we eat man semen.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize
