Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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