The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
