you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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