yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
