my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
accomplished twins. life is a go
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Randomize
