OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I currently don't understand fingers.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
