Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
